Now that she's gone
by Red.Gael
Summary: Post twilight story from Abby's pov. Gabby ish, but could be taken purely as friendship. First NCIS story.


_**Disclaimer: **I don't own NCIS or anything associated with it, what a pity. If I did Kate wouldn't have been killed!_

_**A/N: **ok, so I know heaps of people have done post Twilight stories, and this one might seem a bit late. However, Twilight was only screened the week before Christmas here in New Zealand, and this is the first chance I've got to get this story up. So this is my version, from Abby's point of view. I hope you like it, it's my first NCIS story, so please be kind._

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**Now that she's gone**

Ducky had phoned me the minute he got called out. He knew how I'd feel, but he also knew that as her best friend I'd want to know straight away. Then he went out to collect Kate's body - and I was left alone here in my lab.

Alone in shock that my best friend has been killed. I don't even know how, more than that she was shot. But she told me she'd be wearing a bullet resistant vest before they went out, cause she wanted to be certain Ari wouldn't get away with anything. So how did the bullet kill her?

And what about Tony, McGee and Gibbs? Are they alright? No one said, I hope they're alright. Especially after that dream I had about Tony.

But Kate. Kate's dead. Why would anyone want to kill Kate? I know she said it's a risk every time they walk out the building, but still.

It doesn't seem real. Like this is some macabre joke and any minute now she's going to walk in to my lab ranting and complaining about Tony's latest screw up.

And yet, I also know in my heart that it's real. How can that be? How can something feel real and yet unreal at the same time?

How long have a sat here? It could have only been ten minutes, I may have been sitting here over ten hours. Just sitting here in the chair I collapsed into after Ducky told me. I don't even swivel on it like I normally do. Just sitting and stareing into space, waiting for everyone to come back and tell me what happened.

So I sit. And I stare. I can't even cry, I feel so numb. Isn't that awful? My best friends just died and I can't even show how much it hurts me. Not that there's anyone here to see anyway. Where are they? I wish they'd get back soon. I'm going to go crazy if I'm in here by myself much longer.

I'm turned away from the door, so I don't know that anyone else has entered my lab until a firm hand rests on right shoulder.

I jump slightly as I'm startled from my thoughts by it, then turn my face towards that of the person behind me.

I see Gibbs standing there, and finally I am able to cry. Before I know it I'm on my feet and enfolded by his arms. My tears soaking his shirt as I rest my head against his shoulder. Finding the only comfort available to me in his strong embrace.

As I finish pouring out the start of my grief, I look up with my tear and mascara streaked face into Gibbs once more. I can see the anguish in his eyes. He look lost, confused, distant. Three emotions I have never before seen in his eyes.

I touch his face and he looks down at me.

"I take it Ducky told you?" He questions softly.

"Only that Kate was shot and killed. But how?" I ask. "She told me she'd be wearing protection."

He sighed.

"Yes, she was. Lets sit down, then I'll tell you what happened" Gibbs said with a weariness in his voice.

He moves me back to me chair, and leans against my bench top.

I sit and listen quietly, willing myself not to burst into tears again as he tells me what happened on the roof top.

"Why? Why Kate?" I cry when he's finished.

"I don't know, but believe me I will find out. Right before I kill the bastard." He paused for a moment before starting again, his voice menacing in it's softness. "And believe me, I will kill Ari, if it's the last thing I do. He's not going to get away from me again, I swear it."

I look into his eyes, and can now see the fury that's present among the other emotions. Ari has now completely crossed the line with Gibbs, and the next time the two of them meet, Ari will not walk away from it alive.

"But Gibbs," I ask. " It was Tony's hands and face I saw covered in blood, not Kate's. After my dream I was worried for Tony. It's the first time my dreams have been wrong."

"You weren't wrong Abs." He answered softly." Tony's hands and face were covered in blood. It just wasn't his blood but Kate's."

No matter how hard I try I can't stop the tears flowing again now, not that I want to. It's the best way of release. Gibbs knows and holds me tight while I cry. I feel the moisture of his tears on me, which makes it seem even worse if that's possible. I mean, what is worse than your best friend being killed? But I have never before seen Gibbs cry. I never thought I ever would see Gibbs cry. Then again, I never thought I would ever have anyone telling me Kate had been killed either.

We stand together for awhile, quiet, the only noise the soft falling of our tears.

Then he pulls away from me slightly.

"I'm sorry, Abby" He says.

"Sorry?" I question. "What for?"

"For not being strong for you right now, for letting my emotions get the best of me." He says. I start to reply, but he over rides me as he starts to speak once more. "It was the most awful moment on my life Abs." He stares into space then speaks softly again. "I can't get the image of the roof top out of my head. She was cut off mid-sentence as the bullet hit her right in the forehead and she collapsed between us. I should have seen it, I should have been able to react. I should have known it wasn't over. I should have been more alert."

He ran all this out in one breath, then was silent once more.

"Gibbs, Gibbs, It's not your fault." I say forcing him to look down at me. "And you are strong, you're my strong silver haired fox."

He smiles slightly, then I see in his eyes that he's feeling wrong that he can smile. I know I look a mess, and that probably isn't helping the way he's feeling, trying to be strong for me, but knowing he's failing. Personally I think he really would be un-human if he didn't show emotion at this day, but I know now's not the time to say it. Got to send his focus somewhere else, and give myself someone else to think about also.

"How's Tony?" I ask softly.

Gibbs looks at me with the anguish back in his eyes. "Not good. As I said his hand's and face were covered in her blood Abs. This is bad for us, but I know it's even worse for him, I just don't know how to help him."

I stand quite in his arms for a moment before speaking again.

"I Do." I Say, in as firmer voice I can manage, even though I still croak slightly with the aftermath of my tears. He looks at me questioningly.

"We're going back up to the bull pen, or where ever Tony and McGee are. Then we're all going to spend the evening together. Cause that's what we need to be at the moment - together."

I can see the war with in him. Back to the rest of the team is the last place he wants to go, because he knows the team is never going to be the same with a member missing. I know that too. Nothing will ever be the same again now that Kate's gone. But my silver haired fox is smart. He knows that I'm right and we all need to be together. Gibbs and I have started to work through our grief. Sure, we've only just scratched the surface and I know in my case at least there will be many more tear filled days. But Gibbs coming to me has been my strength. Now it's our turn to give a little more strength to the boys. They need it as much as we do.

Eventually I can see he agrees with me. He lets go of me gently then takes my hand.

"Come," He says. "Lets all be together."

With that we walk out of my lab together. What ever we face from now on will be different from what we are used to, and we know it will be difficult. But we will all work through it together.

_The end_


End file.
